Recent Articles
Huh?
This is yet another one of those things that we’ve been wanting to do for a very long time yet never really got into the swing of it. Now we have! Every Thursday (due to change, possibly more times a week eventually) select members of PoB will release a short comic based on whatever we deem necessary. Our only rule? It’s 800×1800 max. And, no, you cannot make a guest comic. Those who will be making these comics already know they will be.
It’s a rare occasion these days that you can stumble upon a completely original sound and reach the end just as impressed as you were when you first started listening. Luckily, that very discovery just happened to me when I found the beautiful voice and music of Kerli, Love is Dead.
Love is Dead starts things off with the song by the same name, setting a dark tone for what you’d assume is an even darker album to come. Even the album cover appears so. And if it seems that the beginning of Walking On Air proves your assumptions right, it’s chorus soon turns all misconceptions on their head. And once you get to the third track, The Creationist, it finally hits how well of a job Kerli does of walking the line of dark and light. Usually within the same song, at that. Switching from seemingly sad and heavy riffs to catchy pop choruses. Don’t get me wrong, this album surpasses most pop trash that has been released in the past five years put together. And even though some music outlets label it as pop, I refuse to agree. This album is definetely in a genre all its own. And, on top of that, Kerli seems like a genuine and amazing person unlike many singers.
It’s an album that may very well change the way you think and go through life. It definitely did for me, I’d recommend it to anyone and everyone. I could list my favorite songs but I don’t have any, I love the entire thing. Go out and buy this album now.
Recently, as many know, a petition was started when the game, Diablo 3, was revealed to the world and it was just a little too “vibrant” and looked a little less like Diablo and more like World of Warcraft. The petition was for Blizzard to change the art direction to a drab, dark, colorless world. Something more along the lines of… all other dungeon crawlers that copied Diablo and Diablo 2 in the first place. I found this outcry intriguing. And just so you know, I played both of the games and know exactly what people are complaining about.
I hate to break it to you, folks, but the world is not sepia-toned or tinted gray. I know that many video games would make you assume that it is in fact a very dark and dull place where green grass is actually mildly brown grass and white is actually light brown. I understand that this is a change that not many could have seen ten years ago, but still, we’re playing in a console and computer world that is more powerful than any other before it, which should mean more beautiful worlds. Yet, we demand less. Games like Gears of War take place in a basically brown world. There is no beauty in it and I’m sure that comes with the story line, but in a time when every other game is about a destroyed world ravaged by monsters and evil doers, it gets a little ridiculous. Like stated before, reality is not gray. Look outside (if you dare) and you’ll see green and blue and all manner of houses that aren’t destroyed and dirt covered.
Look at that non-color! AND BLUE!
Luckily for those of us that still enjoy eye candy, there are developers out there that feel the same way. A specific game, along with Diablo 3, that looks to change the way we see games is Mirror’s Edge. A beautiful looking game that appears to not have a trace of sepia in it! What are the odds that one of the most exciting games coming in the near future actually goes off the dirt road? It’s difficult for me to put these thoughts into words because I just can’t see how people don’t feel the same. Look at the screen below and tell me it doesn’t look like a refreshing change.
Mirror’s Edge
Now, let’s do a count of colors in each of the last two screens. Gears of War has brown, blue, black and gray. Mirror’s Edge has orange, blue, red, yellow, white, shades of bluish gray. When you think about it, all that games like Gears Of War does is cheap you out of a good HD experience. Which brings me to a thought that video games are the opposite of movies. Movies started with black and white and eventually wound up in HD, some showing off beautiful high quality worlds (yes, there are many exceptions but let’s not focus on movies). Games like the original Mario tried to use as many colors as possible and now as the video gaming industry becomes stronger, richer and more mainstream it’s turning to black and white, dull and brown.
So to anyone out there that agrees, please, PLEASE, fight for the right to beautiful, vibrant, lush games.
(Note: I used Gears of War not because I dislike the game. I don’t. I love it. But because what it presents is not always pleasing to the eye. If you want, I could give more examples. But I won’t. They’re everywhere.)
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Tonight, we have extremely terrible technical problems that made us lose the entire show. So, now we have a condensed version of it re-recorded just for you! We talk about god games, somehow get into religion and power and even answer questions. We even talk about Gmod. What?!
We have it at multiple places… Updated with each one as they upload.
-Direct file
-FileFront download
So, basically, we’re really lazy here when it comes to coverage of stuff. So, I’m going to try and update this with screens from all the crappy E3 streams but luckily, I have the power of ignoring stupid things or unimportant things like what new studio is coming to Xbox Live Movies. No one cares. Keep checking back for updates. Lazy updates. Mostly in screenshot form and then info added later.
This is NO Peter Moore
Fallout 3
Annoying translator talks about RE5
Fable 2
Gears of War 2
New Live “Dashboard”
Geometry Wars 2
Banjo Kazooie
Viva Pinata
Duffy “surprises” everyone by singing a song
500 songs on Rockband, mister? Tell me it’s so!
So, this guy from Square Enix comes on stage and starts talking about Last Remnant and all that crap… Something no one really cares about. And then he walks off stage and dorkface comes back on stage talking about how awesome it is to have Square Enix. And then Square Enix guy walks back on stage and says “lolz 1 moar thang!”
And that’s how Microsoft and Square Enix won E3 in just one minute.
You may have noticed recently that under some of the recent posts there is a category called “Articles” and wondered what this brand new, wonderful thing is. Well, in PoB’s ongoing evolution it’s my pleasure to introduce the newest idea for taking the PoB of past and slapping it around a little whilst not losing our grip on reality. Huh?
Well, what will Articles bring to the table?
Articles are basically news stories, editorials, reviews and anything else deemed necessary that doesn’t fit in the average two or three sentence blog post about how wonderful of comics we make or that we’re sorry for not doing anything because we’re lazy. I’ve made the first four articles, but you’ll be seeing more of the PoB community writing articles as well as possible surprises from the past. Keep your eyes tight, we’re going meta!
You can find the Articles button to the left of the screen or wherever it ends up later in the future (oxymoron):
And to those inquiring about “Is this the big secret they’ve been talking about?” Nope.
1) Get a dog It’s a simple task. Preferably an adorable one that you would claim “is part of the family” within five minutes of being with it. The next thing I’m going to tell you is key: Do not get a dog after the zombies have taken over. If it’s already happening then you might as well throw away this list and scream for the zombies to come and take you.
I mention to get a dog for one reason and one reason alone. Decoy. There’s no better way of escape than tossing your lil’ puppy-muffin out onto the street while you sprint in the other direction. The little guy will act as a perfect companion to your adventure. He’ll bark when the shamblers lurk near and he’ll even allow you to carry him when he can take no more running. What’s better than to have man’s best friend by your side as the rest of the world is infected? Hell, he may save your life that one time when you slip on ice and the zombie falls over on you and, somehow, the dog knows to decapitate it using only his mouth and advanced humping skills.
2) Get a rope It’s going to be a depressing day. Your family will die, your friends will die. And then you’ll have to kill them again when they reanimate and attempt to feast on your juicy face. This is going to be difficult. If you can’t cope, use the rope. Spin it, tie it, do what Boy Scouts taught you and make a noose unlike any other. You know what to do next.
3) Make a run for it Chicken! It’s just like you to not kill yourself. Make sure to make a lot of noise as you run out the door. Scream, throw things, even run up and sucker punch a zombie or two in the back of the head. Whatever you do, don’t let them not notice you. It’s a rarely known fact that zombies are like old people driving a car. If you honk at them they won’t know what’s happening and more than likely swerve off the road or die. Clear a path zombies!
4) The final step Give this list to a close friend, preferably strong and even thicker in the skull. Wait for them to begin step 3 and then slip safely into the night.
It’s a strange and wild world we live in. Hookers at every street corner, drug deals in front of cops and a murder every second… I wish I was talking about Grand Theft Auto. But, now that we’re on that topic I feel the sudden urge to point the finger for such violence not at video games, but at the people who seek to destroy them.
It seems like a loud-mouth, misinformed senator looking for a few more votes spews their vile mess into the ears of concerned parents everywhere. “Concerned” is relative, but I’ll get back to that in a moment. I could show you dozens of videos showing fat, conservative pundits telling you the problems with violent video games, but I’d rather not. I don’t like to give these guys anymore attention than a bag of AIDS.
The almost impossible to ignore truth is that it’s been proven that video games do not cause violent behavior in those that are not already prone to such. The true reason behind all of these attacks from the televised press is hardly innocent. They have to worry about no one watching them. Which no one is. Except “concerned” parents and brainwashed extremists that claim to be for the greater humanity.
See, it’s easy for a place like FOXNEWS to call out video games and the ease-of-access to violent and pornographic content presented by the internet, “an express way to hell”. Do you ever see any television news outlet complaining about violent television? The only shows that they yell at are ones that question what they believe in. If there’s a show that brings heavy religious themes into the mix, or, God forbid, show news stations for what they really are. Suddenly, the show was directed by the devil. You pay for entrance, stay for the pitchforks. Unless! Unless that show’s production company is in association with that specific news channel. But I digress.
The truth is, video games are young. Much like rock music and kittens, these “journalists” fear and attempt to destroy what they do not understand. Most of the people making such claims are usually very old and are on the verge of being cut from the budget or have never attempted to play a game or browse the web. Or worse: Both. They bow to the parents of the world, they get weak at the knees by trying to squeeze every last controversial story out of thin air that they can and they blow a load when they can set up an unaware professional in the video game industry that came to the show expecting a reasonable and fair discussion. “There’s sex in that Mass Effect game. Luckily for us, the people that watch us are so blind that they don’t even realize that there’s been sex in movies and TV since before they were born. And just now there’s a show on basic television (CBS) called Swingtown that totally, totally doesn’t imply anything and in no way could a child see this even though just yesterday some neighbor kid came over and wanted to watch something (he’s about 7) and guess what was on?
Let’s cut it. I’m tired of leading up to something: Parents are to blame. OH NO! The truth is, there are ratings, restrictions and all of that for parents to follow. They just don’t. Ratings on video games, ratings on music, ratings on movies. Hell, there are even giant signs on porn sites that say “18+! Are you 18+?! IF NOT, GTFO!” But how do these ratings slip under the nose of such AWARE parents? I actually have two stories about this very topic. Funny, huh? Both of which, ironically, take place in Best Buy.
As I walk past the video game section I see a boy give his mom a video game. I believe it was a cartoon-based game. The mother looked at it and then turned it around and asked her son “Why is this rated Everyone if there is ‘Cartoon Violence‘. I’d give a moment to let this set in but I refuse to do so. I give this mother merit for apparently caring so much about her child that she didn’t even want to subject him to a frog get smacked over the head with a giant rubber hammer, but on the flipside it’s utterly ridiculous for the very reason I just stated. This woman must have never seen Looney Tunes before or any cartoon for that matter. An over protective mother with an under powered brain.
Second story is rather brief but I was standing behind a woman checking
out with her son standing next to her. He was getting a game that he told a lie to obtain. And he was caught. As the cashier checked the box he stopped and told the woman that the game was rated Mature and intended for people over the age of 17.” The mother looked perplexed, dumbfounded, mentall retarded. And as she said “I thought M stood for Minor” all those looks were reassured truths. Not like there was a word above the M saying “Mature +17″.
The problem with these scenarios is that no one has the guts to tell these parents that they’re not doing their job because that might hurt their feelings. Wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of a parent. They might just go off and drown their eight children. Parents aren’t too blame! Just because they don’t watch their children or monitor what they play and how long they play it doesn’t mean they’re bad parents! Right, because it’s the video game industries cause to make sure they’re game doesn’t fall into your kids hand. What was the definition of parent again?
I like to imagine that about 6 years later those same kids were able to convince their mothers that Big Tits at School was actually a website about the education of an extinct and majestic bird.
Warning! If you do not enjoy reviews that make fun of twists just don’t read the sentences marked in red.
Today, I had the privilege of seeing a movie. Sadly, the only movies I ever see in theaters are Will Smith movies or Indiana Jones lately. But the good thing is I get to watch the same twist for each of his movies, only in a different theme and plot. But don’t let that small jab confuse you, I still have much more to complain about. Including the movie. Go figure.
The comparisons to I Am Legend are almost too obvious. If you’ve seen I Am Legend, just turn the doctor into a lazy superhero and all the poorly animated shamblers (Do I care to learn their real name?) into real people and you basically got it. Hancock believes he’s the only like him (last surviving human?), and then there’s a twist that involves a certain somebody upstairs(I Am Uncreative). Which is pretty funny since the last time I saw Will Smith, which was on David Letterman, he said that something had clicked. It’s hard to believe that he did such a phenomenal job on Pursuit of Happiness and then turned around and knocked out as bad of a movie as Legend and then turned a different angle and decided to do the same exact thing.
What are you blabbering about, Mike? Well, I’ll tell you. Hancock isn’t great. It’s not terrible by any stretch of hope but it’s not what the summer deserves. I went into this movie with the mild impression that this was going to be a comedy but after the first thirty minutes it turns not funny and by the hour mark it’s gone dead serious. There’s a very unnecessary twist that is supposed to explain everything about Hancock but in the end it really just confuses itself. This twist is one you can see coming from galaxies away and even though it’s just that obvious, I refuse to ruin it. But in case you like being ruined by very subtle hints and references to LOST: Think Richard Alpert. And angels. OOPS!
There are still some shining moments in the movie. Like the first thirty minutes. Jason Bateman is good in any movie he’s in. And I got to see previews of movie that I find extremely interesting looking. Eagle Eye and The Day the Earth Stood Still.
Overall: 6/11
That’s right. I’m taking a three day vacation. Not really. I’m just somewhere where I won’t be able to do what I usually do. As in: laptop. Which may be mine for just $200.
Also, I apologize for all those on the Pobcast. We just ran out of time… Hopefully we can get it finished on Friday. Also… Nemi, Looshkin. It’s here!
But keep your eyes open. July’s definetely going to change PoB forever. In more ways than one. It’s hard for me to keep secrets so I decided the next worst thing to completely ruining all those secrets is to tease you, the reader. And prod at you and tell you we’re doing something awesome. And right when you ask what we’re doing? I smack you upside the head and tell you that’s not how I roll. I roll like this: The super major secret project we’re working on is-
Yes we do! But what could make them better? You being there. The forums can’t become big and super-active without you! Yes, YOU! Be there casually late to the party, not so-late-that-no-one-likes-you late. If you don’t make it, well, you’ll miss all the heroine and sharing an eight ball with Nemi and Looshkin in the bathroom.
(Phenomena On Break does not endorse the use of heroine or any other drug for that matter. Sign up on the forums for details)
Seriously, though. We’ll have more respect for those that come to the forums early and add something awesome to the community rather than those that show up later and have nothing to show for it.
I mean, there are tons of comics on there that I released and have never announced on here. So, go, flee! Sign up. And be awesome.
As always, much love.
-Mr. Pain
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M. Delirium
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arcticavenger
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